Self-Inflicted Frustration
Two sources of frustration in ministry and how we can fight them
Ministry can be frustrating. It can often feel like you are stuck, like there is no growth in your church or your own spiritual life. Ministry can drain you and burn you out. These frustrations often come from the simple truth of the brokenness of this world. We are broken and those we minister to are broken and we all live in a world broken by sin and evil.
But, there are times when the frustrations of ministry come from our own unmet expectations. We expect ministry to go a certain way and when it doesn’t grow or move the way we want it we can feel defeated as the frustration mounts.
In my ministry the times of personal frustration have often stemmed from two unmet expectations and these last three years as I have worked with many different pastors and churches I have seen the same frustrations come from the same sources over and over again.
Shepherd the Flock of God that is among you
In 1 Peter 5:2 Peter tells pastors to “shepherd the flock of God that is among you.” Peter is reminding us to love and care for the church among us, not the church we wish we had. Frustration often sets in when we are trying to pastor the church we think we should have instead of the church God has entrusted to us in this moment. Sure, we should do all we can to lead the church to where she needs to be, but we will never do this without first loving and shepherding them where they are.
Frustration easily sets in when we feel like we are not leading well, but leadership must first be honest about where our church currently is to be able to effectively and lovingly move us forward. “Shepherd the flock of God that is among you” not the church you wish you had or the church you came from or the church you see online. We have to meet and shepherd our people right where they are.
This is not a call for complacency; it is a call for contentment.
So many problems can be avoided when we simply “shepherd the flock that is among us”, when we are present and loving with our people, and this presence and this love will build the trust needed to move the church forward. When we try to pastor the church we wish we had or the church we think we should have instead of the church we actually have we will fight frustration over and over again.
The Church is a family
One of the many addictions we seem to have in ministry is the addiction to leadership and leadership “principals”. We are constantly inundated with new leadership books, conferences, podcasts, and systems. These resources and gurus push us to see and think about the church like an organization, and it is, but that is not all the church is.
We must always remember the church is also an organism, a living, changing family.
Frustration often flares when we treat the church like an organization to be led instead of a family to be loved. I think this is especially true in the small, rural church.
The principals and systems of so much of the leadership culture we are fed are not very applicable to the small, rural church. A minister of the Gospel is not a distant leader, but a present shepherd. We would do well to learn as much about family systems and dynamics as we do leadership principals and how to run organizations.
Can we learn valuable truths from the many leadership sources available to us? Absolutely!
But, the church is not a business and it is more than an organization. A pastor must not simply be a good leader. They must be a competent shepherd as well. The church is a family. She is made up of brothers and sisters in Christ and therefore should be seen as much more than what we often hear and read in our leadership books and resources. When we only see the church as an organization to lead we will become frustrated because the church will never function like a business.
The church is messy and the mission is more than the bottom line. We must remember our calling to love as well as lead. We would do well to remember the church is a family.
Self-inflicted frustration in ministry comes when we try to pastor the church we want instead of the church we have and when we see the church as only an organization instead of our family of faith. We must “shepherd the flock of God that is among us” and love our church with the heart of Christ in order to lead her anywhere.